Common characters in a UAE office (part 1)

The Emirati (the local)

This is the most special kind of person on this list. However, in his eyes, hes the most special person not just on this list, but in the entire planet.
He was either hired by Tawteen or as a trade of favors. He isn’t happy he is there any more than you are; he feels everyone around him are inferior beings.

The best thing about him is that he’s never there. He comes in a few hours late, usually around mid-day, and the first thing he does is take a prayer break, followed by a lunch break, a smoke break and another prayer break before he picks up his midwakh and drives his 100,000$ car home.

The Filipina

God bless her. Most of the office’s load is dumped on her (I mean that professionally). This super worker manages to always come 15 minutes early, with a cheerful smile, looking great, and sweetly greeting you even though she’s one of the least paid in the office. She’s pretty much doing everyone’s job, and is overloaded with tasks, but treated the worst.

You feel bad for her, and do your best to be nice to her, but you can’t help but be quiet as you watch the manager rip her apart on a daily basis. She never leaves her desk, she’s always doing her work, even on lunch breaks, she’s eating her home cooked food on the desk. Her desktop wallpaper is a picture of her kid. Many times you’ve seen her leaving the toilet with red eyes, after wiping her tears. Seeing what a great character she has, most of the men in the office fantasize about marrying her.

The Arab

This guy makes you feel you’re in a battlefield, not an office. He can be frequently heard screaming on the phone no matter how far outside the office he’s standing. Every once in a while, his emotions overflow and you can hear the THUD on the wall as a result of him punching it; he always comes back inside, cracks a quick joke and laughs as if nothing just happened. He’s always kissing the managers ass and inviting him to house dinners where he strategically asks for promotions and gives him dirt about the other employees. If there’s more than one Arab in the office, don’t worry, although it sounds like they’re about to kill teach other, they’re not, they’re just discussing where to have shisha/dinner later.

The Emirati Wannabe

Most of the time it’s a Pakistani, they really have similar facial features to Emiratis. If you meet him outside work, he’s usually wearing a kandoora, with a perfectly lined beard. He comes to work with a car is that is at least 20 years old, but can be frequently seen racing Nissan Patrols, as he loves to modify his car.

His car always has a UAE flag, Mashallah sticker, Sheikh Zayed sticker and a Spirit of the Union. You have absolutely no idea how, but he speaks fluent Arabic. In the office, he’s mostly on Facebook, sharing drifting videos and “I love UAE” photos. He’s best friends with the Emirati guy, and always with him on his smoke break, but their friendship is limited to the office.

Fresh in the UAE

This guy makes you want to book a one way ticket out of the UAE. He just arrived in the UAE, and the job of his dreams is your present nightmare. The manager asks you to train him, and you just can’t tolerate hearing from him about how “the UAE is amazing” any more, but you can’t say a thing, can you.  He keeps inviting you to go out after work, not understanding why you long decided to live in exile watching Netflix. He comes 1 hour early to work, and refuses to leave, making everyone in the office look bad. He’s always refreshing his email, excited to receive new tasks, and refreshing Guf News to keep up to date with the great achievements of this nation.

The African Arab

He’s either Sudani or Somali. The funniest and kindest guy in the office. You find pleasure in listening to his stories or jokes. A bit slow in his work, but he gets the job done eventually. Always stretching the limits, he submits his work 1 day after the deadline, arrives to work a hour late and sneaks out an hour early. Whenever the boss comes to fire him, he saueezes Gus way out with the funniest excuse you’ve ever heard, and he has a lot of them. He will try to convince you he’s not Arab, and that he’s African.l, he’s very relaxed and peaceful, but don’t make him angry, he’s Arab after all.

Daddy’s Boy

This young man just got the job you’ve been trying to give to your friend for months. You heard his daddy knows the owner. But the mystery is quick to be solved, because the first thing he does is brag about his daddy’s power and wealth, and how many Sheikhs he knows. He also never forgets to remind you that he doesn’t really need this job, he just needs some work experience to add to his empty CV before he soon gets handed a managerial position by one of daddy’s other friends. He shows up to work in a mustang, camaro or similar type of car. He likes to talk about which party, restaurant or resort he was at last night. His salary is similar to yours, but his daddy gives him 5 times that as allowance. He is your daily reminder that life’s not fair

The Eastern European

Technically, she’s white, but not exactly the UAE favored Westerner, like the British or Americans. She’s smart and hard working, but always has that bitterness of being white, but not treated white. Jealous of the westerners, who don’t really take her as their own, so she either finds herself isolated or swallows her ego into befriending the other “regular” class expats. The good thing is she’s hard working and professional, but she’s always complaining how work is done better in her country. She doesn’t get paid white money, but luckily Arab men love her, and her boyfriend always picks her up from work in his BMW and showing her a good time.

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Craig Desouza

I’m not sure if this should be considered stupid, demeaning or sexist?

Malik

That’s why I don’t like working with Indians! But, where I’ll find a place free of Indians ?

Thank god its not the early 00s anymore 😂 offices are more diverse and these characters upgraded to being better people/being treated more fairly.. at least where i work…